last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
