Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Randomize
