If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
