HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
