I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Randomize
