My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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