i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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