She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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