i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
