Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
