Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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