party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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