Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
