He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize
