I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
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