I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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