girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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