he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
