I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
