You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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