i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
