A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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