Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
