This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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