I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
