I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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