Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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