note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
