Hey man sorry I got all grabby
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
