It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
