U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
you didnt know i had herpes?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
