OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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