almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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