he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
