I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
