I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
