Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
