I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
