You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
