I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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