the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
