So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Randomize
