wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
