You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
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