singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
