Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
