Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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