yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
