mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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