Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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