Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
