I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Randomize
